Letting Go
Today I was finally inspired to take some action in getting our house ready to list in the real estate market in the next few weeks. I have been astonished at how difficult it has been to visualize myself in our new home. We have paid repeated visits to the model that looks just like the home we purchased and for a few days, the vision stays fresh only to slowly erode once we are back at "home".
I'm really exited about this move. It is everything I dreamed of and envisioned from layout to location. And so far, in my imagination we have been absent from it. I have to work very hard at imagining myself moving through the rooms and seeing our furniture in place and hearing our lives echo through the spaces. Perhaps because I sense that the difference between this environment and the next will be a quantum leap on many levels.
There will be a new baby in this home. My son will be entering the first grade in a new school. We will be making new friends and entertaining old ones in more comfort. My husband's commute to his office will drop from 1+ hours to less than 20 minutes . I will have the perfect spaces for my Physio/Coaching practice and my writing. I suppose it is hard to visualize all this because we truly are moving forward into a new expression of our lives and its clear that we have never traveled this part of our path before.
Today's events were cathartic in many ways as I cleaned out cabinets and drawers. I realized that with every "thing" that passed through my hands, I was letting go. Letting go of items that are long past their prime. Letting go of old intentions that I had to fix this or re-make that. Letting go of items but holding onto to wonderful memories and realizing that the things were not important or necessary; the warmth of the memories was not attached to the "thing" after all. It also gave me a chance to dust off the many things that I do cherish. To enjoy them and find a place where they weren't crowded, knowing that they would continue to be prominent in my life as it is unfolding.
The metaphor in all this is irresistible! The idea of letting go has been with me since I wrote my chapter in Sekhmet Rising. At that time I was letting go of a business and all the attendant labels that went with being a business owner and a Physiotherapist in order to discover and express a deeper, bigger part of me. My quest at that time, just one short year ago was essential to my identity and to my purpose for getting up everyday. Since the sale closed on March 24th, 2006, I have discovered just how much I like mySelf and how happy I am when my feet hit the floor every morning to be living my life, on my terms.
Letting go of my business and stepping back from my profession opened huge vistas of potential and possibility. One year later, I am witnessing the impact on my environment as a result of what was put in motion at higher order of magnitude - my identity and life purpose. It is unlikely that I would have had this pregnancy or discovered a new dream home without having first let go of the stress and limitation that were the hallmarks of my old lifestyle.
Now I am letting go of the things in my life that no longer fit who I have become. It just so happens that who I have become is a few sizes larger and now and quite advanced in a pregnancy so there are lots of clothing items that really fail to represent me these days! Not only that, I recognize that so much of the color and texture in my closet has very little to do with how I have been living for this past year. Time to let it go. Time to let go of books that were once helpful but no longer hold my interest. I hope they will open doors for the people who receive them next. Letting go of old supplements and vitamins that helped me cope with a life of constant stress and bad eating habits. The list goes on.
There have been moments in this process when I have felt the pangs of regret at money spent or my lack of follow through on some projects that started with a bang and then fizzled into obscurity. Speaking today with a friend from out east, I began to realize through her words that there are some things that may have been important and meaningful at some stages of our lives but that doesn't mean that they must remain that way. If they did, we would never be able to change or evolve. Touche!
And so it is with great pleasure and gratitude that I look at the garbage bags, recycling bags and donation boxes dotting the rooms throughout my home. I'm grateful for the purpose those items have served up to this point and I am looking forward to what is waiting to enter the space that has been created. At this moment, I believe with absolute certainty that this space has nothing to do with stuff and everything to do with potential and possibility. And that is worth more than anything to me!
I'm really exited about this move. It is everything I dreamed of and envisioned from layout to location. And so far, in my imagination we have been absent from it. I have to work very hard at imagining myself moving through the rooms and seeing our furniture in place and hearing our lives echo through the spaces. Perhaps because I sense that the difference between this environment and the next will be a quantum leap on many levels.
There will be a new baby in this home. My son will be entering the first grade in a new school. We will be making new friends and entertaining old ones in more comfort. My husband's commute to his office will drop from 1+ hours to less than 20 minutes . I will have the perfect spaces for my Physio/Coaching practice and my writing. I suppose it is hard to visualize all this because we truly are moving forward into a new expression of our lives and its clear that we have never traveled this part of our path before.
Today's events were cathartic in many ways as I cleaned out cabinets and drawers. I realized that with every "thing" that passed through my hands, I was letting go. Letting go of items that are long past their prime. Letting go of old intentions that I had to fix this or re-make that. Letting go of items but holding onto to wonderful memories and realizing that the things were not important or necessary; the warmth of the memories was not attached to the "thing" after all. It also gave me a chance to dust off the many things that I do cherish. To enjoy them and find a place where they weren't crowded, knowing that they would continue to be prominent in my life as it is unfolding.
The metaphor in all this is irresistible! The idea of letting go has been with me since I wrote my chapter in Sekhmet Rising. At that time I was letting go of a business and all the attendant labels that went with being a business owner and a Physiotherapist in order to discover and express a deeper, bigger part of me. My quest at that time, just one short year ago was essential to my identity and to my purpose for getting up everyday. Since the sale closed on March 24th, 2006, I have discovered just how much I like mySelf and how happy I am when my feet hit the floor every morning to be living my life, on my terms.
Letting go of my business and stepping back from my profession opened huge vistas of potential and possibility. One year later, I am witnessing the impact on my environment as a result of what was put in motion at higher order of magnitude - my identity and life purpose. It is unlikely that I would have had this pregnancy or discovered a new dream home without having first let go of the stress and limitation that were the hallmarks of my old lifestyle.
Now I am letting go of the things in my life that no longer fit who I have become. It just so happens that who I have become is a few sizes larger and now and quite advanced in a pregnancy so there are lots of clothing items that really fail to represent me these days! Not only that, I recognize that so much of the color and texture in my closet has very little to do with how I have been living for this past year. Time to let it go. Time to let go of books that were once helpful but no longer hold my interest. I hope they will open doors for the people who receive them next. Letting go of old supplements and vitamins that helped me cope with a life of constant stress and bad eating habits. The list goes on.
There have been moments in this process when I have felt the pangs of regret at money spent or my lack of follow through on some projects that started with a bang and then fizzled into obscurity. Speaking today with a friend from out east, I began to realize through her words that there are some things that may have been important and meaningful at some stages of our lives but that doesn't mean that they must remain that way. If they did, we would never be able to change or evolve. Touche!
And so it is with great pleasure and gratitude that I look at the garbage bags, recycling bags and donation boxes dotting the rooms throughout my home. I'm grateful for the purpose those items have served up to this point and I am looking forward to what is waiting to enter the space that has been created. At this moment, I believe with absolute certainty that this space has nothing to do with stuff and everything to do with potential and possibility. And that is worth more than anything to me!
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