Calm at the Centre of the Storm

I love lazy Saturday mornings. They are fertile grounds for wandering imaginations. As a testament to my growing inner peace, I can sit at my computer like the calm at the eye of a storm and feel like time has taken on a long languid sense as words meander onto my page. Never mind that the dog is barking, my son is careening all around the kitchen making frenzied car racing noises while Daniel Cook holds court on TV at a volume intended to be heard over all the din. In my tiny corner I can be part of it all and yet feel a spaciousness and a sense of calm that I can only imagine Buddhist monks and mothers of 5 year-olds can achieve.

My sense of calm well being is most certainly an inside job, just like any other state such as trust, safety, creativity. It has far more to do with my choice to stay present to what moves inside me and still be connected to the world at large. What a powerful discovery to make! Its my own internal weather system that makes the difference. Of course, I could have guessed at that based on past experiences.

I recall an expensive spa visit that pre-dated having children. I was stressed out and willing to pay handsomely to be pampered and soothed. I lay there among the blankets, gentle music piping into the darkened room. It was everything I expected from the tranquility depicted in the glossy brochure - and I was ready to bolt! My legs were perpetually tense, poised for flight. My brain was like a hamster on a wheel and I found myself flinching every time the attendant came near me. I was so far out of touch with my own inner self that no amount of dollars spent to create the illusion of relaxation could possibly work.

I see it time and again. We are are willing to go to great lengths to manipulate the world outside us - spa visits, shopping sprees, expensive vacations, decadent meals - all efforts to soothe our ragged souls and all falling seriously short of the mark. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a BIG fan of the above indulgences. I also know that no matter how much I manipulate the world outside me, its what goes on INSIDE me that determines my ultimate sense of contentment and well being in life. The rest is gravy.

Surprisingly the path to this nirvana doesn't require a 5 year old, or a crazed wheaten terrier or years of zen training - (although I suspect they might be catalysts in the process!). I believe that the first step is to simply STOP where you are. Stop running, stop looking, stop opening your wallet and allow your self to simply be - if only for a moment. Take a breath - a deep one, followed by another. As you breathe with awareness your body will begin to respond and each breathe brings you closer to that central place, deep within your self.

I'm not sure why so many friends and clients have expressed everything ranging from mild alarm to deep fear at the mere thought of encountering the deepest essence of themselves but I do know that every single one of them discovered that there was great beauty and comfort there. There was no deep, dark secret lurking. On the contrary, there was a quiet sense of peace and a welcome sense of homecoming.

If its been a while since they last experienced the simple depth of awareness of being present in their bodies, following a simple series of deep breaths, they might feel layers of sensation and emotion sliding away as they follow their breathing. Its not uncommon for us to have girded ourselves with layer after layer of old information/emotion. The relief of simply letting go and trusting ourselves again is immense, and always a delightful discovery!

Once the discovery has been made, you find it easier and easier to return to the simple joy of being. Knowing and trusting that you have everything you need, just a breath away, makes it easy for you to thrive in the centre of a storm - no matter what the situation. And that, my friends is priceless!

Now, I suppose I better deal with the spilled box of cereal my darlings are stomping around in! Breathing IS good!!